Ariel's sex videos, Youtube sensation Sinta and Jojo, Julia Perez's political attempt, Gayus Tambunan's Bali trip and Tifatul Sembiring's tweets are some of 2010's weirdest news stories. The past year has seen a flood of headlines that drowned the nation in misery, tragedy and controversy. From the politically charged Bank Century bailout scandal to the ongoing Gayus Tambunan saga, from the attacks on the Ahmadiyah sect and Christian churches to the devastating natural disasters in Wasior, Mentawai and Mount Merapi, it’s been a rough 12 months for the country.
But what makes Indonesia such a unique and bewildering country is that it’s also home to a steady stream of stories that shock, surprise and simply make you say, “What the ... ?” Here is my pick of the weirdest news events that have taken place over the past 12 months.
10. Julia Perez Goes Political
Julia Perez knows how to turn the nation on. This year, however, the dangdut diva didn’t do it just by posing in skimpy outfits. Jupe, as she’s popularly known, was wooed by a coalition of political parties to run for deputy district head of Pacitan, East Java. Yes, the foxy celebrity, who admitted that she knew nothing about politics, was ready to take on Pacitan, which just happens to be the home district of President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono.
This clearly shows the maturity of our political parties — milking the popularity of a voluptuous celebrity to gain power. It’s also a testament to how sexy democracy can be in this country. And dangerous, like having sex without protection, with all the unwanted consequences that call follow.
Luckily, or not, Jupe’s political ambitions ended before they really started, and she recently found herself back in more familiar territory, hitting the headlines for a catfight with another racy artists, Dewi Persik.
9. Barring Bovine’s Freedom of Speech
During a demonstration against the government in January, protesters brought along an unlikely activist, a buffalo named Sibuya — a play on SBY, the initials of President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono. This greatly offended the president, leading police to bar demonstrators from bringing animals to protests.
I honestly don’t know which is more worrying — the idea that animals don’t have political rights or the fact that we have a leader, our champion of democracy, who just doesn’t cope well with criticism.
8. Sexy Ghost Flicks
Indonesia’s self-appointed moral police, the Islamic Defenders Front (FPI), have been kept busy this year trying to keep our shores unsullied by the presence of porn stars. But a few managed to slip through the net. Japanese X-rated divas Miyabi and Rin Sakuragi, as well as American adult-video darling Tera Patrick, all had starring roles this year in Indonesia’s most infamous film genre, known as “esek-esek,” horror movies that feature plenty of cheesecake. For me, this is a triumph for democracy. Cinematically, however, I’m not sure how much pride Indonesia can take in producing movies with titles such as “Hantu Puncak Datang Bulan” (“Menstruating Ghost from Puncak”).
7. Fecal Diplomacy
Diplomatic rows between Indonesia and Malaysia are nothing new. What is new is how some Indonesians chose to express their anger after yet another dispute, this one involving seven Malaysian fishermen and three Indonesian maritime officials caught up in a sea border dispute.
To send a message to those neighbors we love to hate, a vigilante group called Bendera hurled small boxes containing human feces at the Malaysian Embassy in Jakarta. Malaysia may have tested our national pride, so a little anger is to be expected. But to throw human waste is just plain childish, embarrassing and barbaric. It’s an act that needs to be flushed down the toilet.
6. The Poisonous Duo, Sinta and Jojo
Sinta and Jojo, two teenagers from Bandung, surely deserve the award for Online Wonders of the Year. Their video got more than five million hits on YouTube and they became a worldwide trending topic on Twitter. How did they do it? By lip-synching to a sketchy-but-catchy dangdut hit, “Keong Racun” (“Poisonous Snail”), while looking like a couple of goblins on crack. Their fame shows us how addicted our young people are to the online world. At the same time, Sinta and Jojo proved that looking silly and having zero talent can actually be an advantage if you want to make it big in Indonesia.
5. Five-Star Prison Cells
The idea of putting crooks behind bars is to punish them for the error of their ways. But do you think anybody is going to feel much guilt and remorse if their prison cell is equipped with an air-conditioner, laser facial treatments and an LCD television? Well, that was what inspectors found in the cell of graft convict Artalyta Suryani during an inspection at Pondok Bambu Women’s Penitentiary.
Meanwhile, in November, graft suspect Gayus Tambunan was photographed by the Jakarta Globe enjoying a tennis match in Bali, when he was supposed to be detained in the National Police Mobile Brigade (Brimob) headquarters in Depok. Apparently, he had managed to duck out of his cell 68 times! Aren’t we all amused by how the legal system works in our country?
4. Tweet-Awful Minister
Twitter has given people a whole new platform on which to make fools of themselves. And the Indonesian who did the best job of that this year was undoubtedly Tifatul Sembiring, our beloved communications and information technology minister. Last year, he took to Twitter to explain how immorality in the country was to blame for natural disasters. He was heavily criticized for that infamous tweet, but some people just refuse to learn from their mistakes.
This year, he gave us a bizarre tweet comparing the Ariel “Peterporn” sex-tape scandal with Jesus Christ’s crucifixion. He then joked that AIDS stands for “Akibat Itunya Dipakai Sembarangan,” or “What you get for sticking your penis just about anywhere,” and implied that homosexuality was the main cause of the disease. Most recently, he was mocked around the world for his overly defensive explanations as to why he, a devoutly conservative Muslim, would shake hands with America’s first lady, Michelle Obama, a woman he was not related to.
3. Foul-Mouthed, Chain-Smoking Toddler
Sandi Wedhus was the 4-year-old from Surabaya who talked like a sailor and sucked down cigarettes like there was no tomorrow. Sandi received nationwide and global notoriety for a YouTube video that showed him puffing on a cigarette, blowing smoke rings like a pro and exercising an impressive potty mouth. For example, he expressed his desire to grow up and be a thief so that he could spend his money on prostitutes. The country was outraged and concerned about Sandi’s health given that he was said to have developed a several-packs-a-day smoking habit.
First of all, whoever bought him the cigarettes and messed around with the kid like he was a freak show should be awarded a first-class ticket to hell. Second, this shows the sad relationship between poverty and parental supervision, or lack thereof. Third, Sandi is the true face of our country’s addiction to cigarettes and its cancerous impact.
2. Ariel ‘Peterporn’
The celebrity scandal of the year, featuring homemade sex tapes, a rock star and two gorgeous female presenters, has now become a legal saga.
This has all the ingredients of an Oscar-winning movie. Nazril “Ariel” Irham, the vocalist for the band Peterpan, first became the talk of the country when sex tapes that allegedly featured him with celebrities Luna Maya and Cut Tari began making the rounds on the Internet.
Things took a nasty legal turn when the police charged Ariel with the crime of distributing pornography. The case has become a litmus test for the country’s Anti-Pornography Law, and yet the people who actually distributed the videos have not been charged with anything. What a funny country we live in.
1. Holy Cow, Sex and Marriage
Let me first remind you that Indonesia is a country in which same-sex marriage is forbidden, marriage between people of different faiths is widely seen as taboo and marrying foreigners is frequently made difficult by the bureaucracy. Yet Ngurah Alit, an 18-year-old from Jembrana, Bali, was forced to marry a cow after he was caught having relations with the animal, which he believed to be a sexy woman.
I’m not sure which is worse, the idea of having sex with a cow or the idea of forcing the kid to marry it. I could try to analyze the story from a cultural, social, economic, psychological or moral point of view. But some things simply defy analysis. In Indonesia, apparently, nothing is impossible.
Armando Siahaan is a reporter for the Jakarta Globe and writes a weekly column about current events. Follow @jakartajourno on Twitter or e-mail him at armando.siahaan@thejakartaglobe.com.
